Young Dublin Climate Activist Comes to a Deadly Realisation.

Niamh suddenly disappears into the 4th dimension when asked a simple question.

It’s 1.pm outside of the Custom House in Dublin. Yet another global warming march is taking place. 10,000 students are marching for their future. Without a doubt, these individuals are completely devout to their cause. They really practise what they preach. It’s clear in fact, that from trying talking to a few guys and girls today that these crusaders have nothing but dedication for the greater good.

For instance, just outside of the main congregation of protesters we managed to speak to Niamh, a 16-year-old 5th year. When asked what she thinks of the current climate situation, Niamh expertly responds with a cleverly and coherently constructed response. Or so we thought at the start…

Niamh: “Yeah, erm, I mean like the world is just about hotter than Leonardo di Caprio at the moment. I think that everyone here are doing their best to combat this crisis. It’s going to heavily influence our future. I believe that the main issue is carbon emissions.”

Good start. Every reasonable person assumes she’s willing to lead by example, right? I mean she’s young, ambitious and a visionary, just like all those other climate crusaders, right? Please?

Interviewer: “Oh right great, so does this mean that you won’t fly on holidays abroad this summer to Portugal and release 900kg of carbon emissions to get there and back?”

Niamh’s face starts to shrivel.

And, as predicted, under such harsh facts had spontaneously combusted. Her brain short-circuited, creating a micro-blackhole; which transported her body, mind and soul into the 4th dimension by means of quantum self-absorption. Condolences to her beloved family.

SERIOUS NOTE: 

This climate crisis is very, very real. And it doesn’t take my explanation, well, because it has just about every person with at least their head screwed on behind the movement to mitigate the issues we’re facing. However, many can agree that in fact there’s a worrying amount of hypocrisy surrounding the issue, and we’re all the main culprits to be honest. However, without a doubt these ‘protests’ are microcosms of how all of our mindsets really work. We still go abroad, spend hours in our carbon tin boxes in traffic and buy cheap, mass produced clothes which were transported halfway across the globe to Pennys store in Dundrum. Half of the students there today aren’t remotely prepared to make these changes. And myself included, being a young student, I think that activism without true activism is devoid of moral integrity and is completely fruitless.

Next climate aware article will be from my Villa in the Algarve. 

 

NSFW WARNING: Sri-Lanka Byrne meets the ideal man.

Sri-Lanka catches a real masculine, matcho, manly man.

16th June 20-noiner-teener

Dear diary,

Last night was fully successful. Met a guy in town from St. Visa, who happens to be on the Leinster Academy rugger team. Name’s Atlas. We hit things off immediately. I’m a Sagittarius and thanks be to the holy lordo, he’s not a Gemini. He said he liked my accent, and the fact that Loreto on the Bank is over 2.5 mill a year to attend.

Than things got really steamy…He said he’d been to exotic and dangerous places (personal turn on). I love a sophisticated man (well travelled). He explained to me his far, wide and treacherous journeys to isolated tribes, like ‘Bray’ for example.

Turns out he also lives in a South Side compound near mine. I think the place was called ‘Shankill’. Supposedly the compound has voice recognition, so I guess if you sound like you fly Ryanair and go to Blanchardstown to get Krispy Kreme donuts at 3am, the compound private security guards will know about it.

Quick diary update: That snap of me in Thailand with a sedated tiger on the insta just got photo of the week in the SouthernWeekly! #takemeback 😝

I love a man who can provide security, both financially, emotionally and most importantly…through overbearing brutal and lethal force. He said they’ll get their new laser defense weapon systems from Israel in a day or two from now, so then I’ll be able to pay a stellar visit to my new full-back boyfriend.

The mother last night, while sipping on a largo glass of Hendrick’s said that going out of the compound like this is really dangerous, but after I mentioned to her that Atlas owns a place out in Portugal and that his Daddy is the Big Chief of a money bank, she said I could take the ‘rover some day.

With lots of like really passionate love and that jazz,

Yours sincerely, Sri x