NSFW WARNING: Sri-Lanka Byrne meets the ideal man.

Sri-Lanka catches a real masculine, matcho, manly man.

16th June 20-noiner-teener

Dear diary,

Last night was fully successful. Met a guy in town from St. Visa, who happens to be on the Leinster Academy rugger team. Name’s Atlas. We hit things off immediately. I’m a Sagittarius and thanks be to the holy lordo, he’s not a Gemini. He said he liked my accent, and the fact that Loreto on the Bank is over 2.5 mill a year to attend.

Than things got really steamy…He said he’d been to exotic and dangerous places (personal turn on). I love a sophisticated man (well travelled). He explained to me his far, wide and treacherous journeys to isolated tribes, like ‘Bray’ for example.

Turns out he also lives in a South Side compound near mine. I think the place was called ‘Shankill’. Supposedly the compound has voice recognition, so I guess if you sound like you fly Ryanair and go to Blanchardstown to get Krispy Kreme donuts at 3am, the compound private security guards will know about it.

Quick diary update: That snap of me in Thailand with a sedated tiger on the insta just got photo of the week in the SouthernWeekly! #takemeback 😝

I love a man who can provide security, both financially, emotionally and most importantly…through overbearing brutal and lethal force. He said they’ll get their new laser defense weapon systems from Israel in a day or two from now, so then I’ll be able to pay a stellar visit to my new full-back boyfriend.

The mother last night, while sipping on a largo glass of Hendrick’s said that going out of the compound like this is really dangerous, but after I mentioned to her that Atlas owns a place out in Portugal and that his Daddy is the Big Chief of a money bank, she said I could take the ‘rover some day.

With lots of like really passionate love and that jazz,

Yours sincerely, Sri x


Author: Irish Daily Complainer

The non serious tabloid.

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