People with little dogs need to stay in their lane.

Do you have a little dog?

If so, this article is for you; mainly because you need to wake up and go out and buy a proper dog. . .

How do you spot a small dog walker? They have these little retractable leashes that are really meant for your average hyperactive child.

I was walking my far more superior German Shepherd dog, Destroyer around outside in the local dog park. From the corner of the park came a pathetic pack of Shih Tzus. Little yokes started barking their little heads off. “Destroyer eats those things for breakfast”, I said to myself.

It’s a well known fact that Toy-dog owners train their dogs to do simply nothing but annoy the hell out of actual dogs.

The owner of these head-wreckers was visibly enjoying the little show they’d put on. Another large dog walker on the other side of the park nodded at me, acknowledging my dire situation. He took out his mobile phone to record the colossal fight that would go down between my dog and those little rodents.

More large dogs and their owners came to help incase this feud got out of hand. It was little dogs vs big dogs. A Korean large dog owner licks his lips as he anticipated the demise of these little creatures. I knew we could win.

The park was filled with an eerie tension; large dog owners had cleavers at the ready, small dog owners armed with their plastic-retractable leashes and tiny poo bags to suffocate any and all enemies. . .

The small dogs attacked first, but of course they didn’t do anything except yap like pregnant seagulls. Myself and all the large dog owners chuckle to ourselves. The small dog owners were already looking defeated.

No words were spoken in these moments as it was at this point that everyone realized that a large legal case would ensue over the mass slaughter of nearly 60 ‘precious’, yappy, irritating and simply insufficient little dogs. They backed off.

People need to buy proper dogs. Simply wake up people!